There’s hockey players and hockey parents and then there’s goaltenders and goalie parents.
We often don’t hear too much about them in the game. The stereotypical expression that “goaltenders are a special breed” is blown way out of proportion at times, but rarely will you ever see a more dedicated group of parents or player. Obviously, goaltenders and their parents go above and beyond and in many cases continue to deal with astronomical amounts of pressure, unattainable expectations all the while dealing with unfair criticism from others that have no idea about the position, financial and personal cost or the toll it takes on the player and family. If you have been around the game long enough you will hear all of the horror stories associated with “hockey parents” but very seldom will you hear from “goalie parents”.
I can remember it like it was yesterday, during the opening parent, player and coaches meeting I took the time at the end of that meeting to try to explain the pressure and scrutiny that goaltenders and their parents are under.
“I don’t want you yelling at Refs, your child, other players and especially our goaltenders.”
“You will not understand the amount of pressure they and their parent feel during games, and you will never understand that, they are our last or final line of defence and tons of mistakes have been made well before the ends up behind them, so let’s remember that.”
I think we all can agree hockey culture needs to change and it begins with the simplest of interactions between everyone involved.
Goaltenders and their parents often feel the brunt of those interactions, usually it’s subtle comments, but it’s those comments that pile up and create a wound that never fully heals.
We haven’t even touched on the highly competitive and politically driven inter-workings of the position, it’s coaching and consulting aspect.
It’s incredibly difficult to imagine the toll it takes on all of those that choose to don the pads.
They are always between a rock and hard place when it comes to playing between the pipes. Their impact should never be overlooked or taken for granted. They are often confronted and have to cope with an aspect of hockey culture is unique to the situation and position.
Goaltenders and their parents are unique, they aren’t perfect, but let’s face it no one is, so let’s all be mindful of their position within the hockey world.
FDS Sports Blog 
Craig,
Very accurate article. As you know, with three boys in hockey, I can watch Nick & Zach play all day. When I watch Matt, I still get knots in my stomach hours before the game. And I’m just his Dad. I can’t begin to imagine the stress he endures. Goaltenders can go from being heroes to bums in a matter of 1 game. The emotional highs and lows are extreme.
Matt had a rough year last season with covid and issues outside the game of hockey to deal with. He heard a lot of negative noise. I heard it in the stands of every arena he played in. He didn’t quit or give up and he is back this year and off to a great start. He looks “himself” again. I saw him wear the stress of last year. It was hard to watch but he had great support and my wife, and I will always be there for him. He’s learned to manage and endure all the negativity. Hopefully, the culture will change over time.
Thanks for being a voice for the goaltenders and their parents!
Chris Welsh
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Great to see Matt off to a fantastic start with a couple of donuts already!
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Hey Chris, Thanks so much for all of the support over the years, it means so much to me! Thanks for the amazing insight as always, I really appreciate it!
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Great article, I have played the position, coach the position and have my son play now as well who I coach. Thanks for putting it out there for others to read and hopefully pull back a bit on the criticism, if you never done it you just don’t know.
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Hey Brian, Thanks so much for the support and positive feedback, I really appreciate it!
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I always love when the discussion is about goalies. Thanks, Craig!!
Being a goalie means many things; but one thing that people overlook is the solitude. Goalies spend more time alone than they do with their teammates. They aren’t on the bench between shifts laughing and joking (or catching shit from their coaches lol), they aren’t involved in D meetings, F meetings, PP meetings. They’re in the crease – and in their own head – the majority of the game and practice. The vast majority of goalies do not have a coach to talk to, off whom they can bounce ideas, or talk about correction.
Nothing goes further with a goalie’s healthy and positive mindset (from a team perspective) than:
a. making sure the goalies have a dedicated goalie coach
b. teammates that give stick taps and high fives after saves, between whistles in the D zone, and especially after goals
c. when the head coach makes time for a chat with the goalie at practices and after games (because many goalies have so many pre-game and intermission routines) or when they get pulled (if the coach and goalie are in a relationship where that can happen).
Goalies FEEL goals against and LOSSES like no other player – and they know if it’s their fault…most goalies are overly critical of their play at the best of times.
Get them a coach, give those high fives, and have those chats. It’ll make a world of difference for most goalies.
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i love what you wrote and wish this was shared on fb as well (that’s where I saw the initial article). I wish all coaches emphasized the taps, high fives, ect between plays and periods. It can be such a isolated position but those small things close that gap
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I’m a long time youth hockey coach. My oldest is an ACHA D1 college goalie and my other son is playing juniors and will play in college as well. I can watch my youngest who’s a forward for hours upon hours and never get nervous. My oldest the goalie even though he knows what he’s is doing is only as good as the 5 guys in front of him are. My wife and I always tell him to focus on the positive. I tell him to never show your emotions on that ice and never let the other team know they got in your head.
To all goalie parents out there you are doing a tremendous life service to your child. By making he/she play goalie you are teaching them valuable life lessons. They learn at an early age that life has its ups and downs, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win and most of all teaching them to have the courage to fail. After all, It’s only through failure that you win. My hats off to all goalies and their parents. I always say if you can afford it, let them do it!!!
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Poeple tend to forget that the game often dictates if the goalie was “on” or… “he just wasn’t his best”. For example…pass far post shooter hammers a one timer from 6 ft out going top speed. Goalie has one play: needs to read the pass in time, slides over and puts pad and glove in place. Shooter hits the pad or shoots it in the glove… “wow…he’s on his game!” Shooter fans on it and sends it five hole…goal. Shooter manages to go bar down, hats off…goal. On or off…the goalie has one play and sometimes it goes his way, sometimes it does not. Futhermore…STATS!! Everyone loves them because it makes things simple to undertand but are a nightmare for young goalies learning the craft. Especially when a parent doesn’t truly understand the position or the game.
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