The Story I Can’t Write

There are some stories I can’t write. There are some stories I don’t dare write.  That’s just the reality of the business. 

A few years back I was told or in a way threatened not to publish an article that I had completed.

All I had to do was click publish. In that moment I was at a crossroads. 

Journalistic integrity, creditability, reputation, everything was on the line, everything was at stake. 

I was just a rookie, new to the business. I wanted to hit the publish button so bad, but I was truly scared of the consequences. 

I was intimidated. 

I was entering a world that I didn’t fully understand.  You see in that same conversation, I was told three words. “Off the record.” 

That particular article never saw the light of day. I buried it. Trust me I had my reasons, however, part of my journalistic and writing integrity was buried along with it. 

You see I learned a lot that day. I learned there are some stories I just can’t write. 

Over the years I have learned a lot about being a writer and journalist. 

I still have a long way to go.  I have learned a lot about the business. 

I have learned a lot about the business side of the game and what goes on behind closed doors.  I’m still learning, it’s a process, it’s a journey. 

I realize off the record is off the record, it’s everything really and I get that, but there are some stories I still can’t write even though I have multiple trusted and credible sources. 

At the risk of myself and them I feel compelled not to write it. I know it shouldn’t be that way, but it is. 

Maybe I’m alone in this, maybe I’m too close to the story. 

 I know I’m new to the game, but over the last few years I have been fighting for creditability as a writer and reporter.

My journey in writing may have started as a blogger, but it has drastically changed since that point. 

Sure the content and platforms may have changed, but the journey continues. 

The fight for creditability is never ending. 

You see there are still some stories I don’t dare write. 

From blogger to reporter, it’s all about creditability, but what about journalistic integrity? 

I’m still fighting for that, and maybe others struggle with that every day as well or do they? 

In many cases my hands have been are tied. I’ve hit the backspace button a lot over the past five years. 

You see I’m still scared of the potential consequences that may arise if in fact I write a story that might be deemed too cutting edge.

There may very well be some people out there that are going to be very critical of me writing something like this, calling me weak or not a true journalist or reporter, that’s fine, to each their own. 

It’s a process and I’m working my way through it. 

Will there always be stories I don’t dare write? 

Do other hockey writers feel this way? 

Will I ever be able to write an article without the fear of being…………………….

For now there are some stories I just can’t write or maybe it’s off the record