Empty

Empty 

Players that have been criticized, belittled and put down endlessly quickly forget who they are and who they could be. 

Those players lose their identity, passion, confidence and love for the sport. However one could argue there’s absolutely nothing worse than seeing a gifted athlete lose their self-worth and purpose. In other words they’re empty, but yet they still show up game in game out, practice after practice hoping one day it will change, but it never does. 

So much is expected and demanded of “today’s player,” they all know that going in, they accept it, but in some scenarios the player becomes a shell of themselves as an athlete and a person, because whatever they do will never be good enough for their coach. 

We throw words like adversity and resiliency around nonstop and many assume kids these days need those elements in their everyday lives and “sporting” lives to become stronger, better and more complete because in some odd way many believe “that’s what made us tough, or defined us as athletes and people.” That right there is a crock of shit, but evidently that mindset still exists at various levels within the game and if you don’t believe me just ask around. 

You want to know why some kids are electing to leave home at younger and younger ages to explore different options? They have had enough, and have had year after year of feeling empty or they know damn well what’s coming in the years ahead. The horror stories a what the “next level” or what certain organizations or coaches are like is massive deterrent but yet the board, governing body or league executives do nothing especially if it’s a deemed to be “winning” or “successful” organization. It’s crazy to think that some organizations continue to operate like business as usual while player after player family after family are left to deal and cope with the emptiness that players are confronted with. 

You can bet your arse teams in their final exit surveys or interviews aren’t asking the kids how they felt about the season or if they enjoyed their year, it’s mostly feedback associated to the player and what aspects they need to improve on to play at the next level or return and be a better contributor. 

Sadly, many families know full well what they’re getting into while some families can afford other options others can’t and know or dread what’s upcoming.

 The emptiness a player experiences cuts deep they hurt a lot and ultimately for some those scars never heal. This so called adversity doesn’t build character or resiliency it creates trauma. 

“What’s wrong with so and so they aren’t playing well this year?” 

Everyone equates struggle with performance, but we all know it goes a hell of a lot deeper than that. Players returning to a team and coach that emptied their passion and purpose are constantly searching for something to rekindle or spark their confidence and self-worth, but many times it’s just too late. 

Why are 13 to 15 year olds not having fun anymore playing a game that essentially meant everything to them? Why are they leaving the game or becoming disinterested? Why do they hate going to the rink now? It should be pretty damn clear that it’s how they were made to feel about the game and how passion turned to emptiness. 

It’s pretty evident that many associated with the game right now want to create this image that “today’s player” need to possess a shit ton more character, grit and mental toughness but they completely neglect what the player has experienced in the past and the impact that has on the person and player. 

We have all felt down before, but being empty is drastically different. 

Empty players play the game because they’re supposed to, not because they love it or are passionate about it any more. 

Coaches that care will be able to spot the kid that has an empty experience almost instantly. Coaches that care could play an instrumental role in a player rediscovering the passion, purpose and love for the game. 

Some coaches say they want to make a difference in their players lives, while all they really want to do is win. 

I sure as hell hope that young players these days never feel empty or feel alone and never have a coach that eradicates their passion, self worth and love for the game.