The really good coaches are leaving. They have had enough of the bull shit.
Over the years I have had a number of great coaches privately message me discussing what they are confronted with at the rink on a regular basis. In years gone by, they had grown accustomed to dealing with the “one offs” during the season, but more and more issues are arising. Let’s face it, coaching is tough as hell in this day and age, it’s always been tough as hell, but it just seems there are more and more issues now than ever before.
You can have all the “24 hour” rules and protocols in place, but hockey parents don’t give a rat’s ass about those guidelines, when they’re ready to unleash their diatribe, nothing can stop them. It wouldn’t matter what the coaches or anyone does for that matter, you are never going to please everyone, but why do some hockey parents feel so angry, brazen and empowered to first approach/corner and berate coaches?
Where does that anger and frustration come from?
Well, you could probably write a series of books on that one. Nevertheless, the game is losing amazing coaches because of it. Great coaches are tired, they aren’t tired of the kids or the game, they still love that aspect, they’re tired and completely exhausted trying to navigate through all of the bull shit. Obviously, they were all wired to handle and cope with it, based on their experiences in the game, but their willingness to give back to the game they love is being inundating with constant criticism and back-channel gossip and ridicule. From line combinations to specialty teams, to “in-game” decisions, you name it minor hockey coaches get it from every conceivable angle.
Distraught hockey parents more than likely feel compelled to confront coaches on a whim because of past “injustices” or experiences not realizing that the new coach is nothing like the one they had in the past.
Lack of knowledge and understanding for the game is clearly another root cause of the constant bull shit coaches must face when it comes to the entitled frustrated hockey parents. Perhaps the worst of all is the “all knowing hockey parent” that possesses limited knowledge and understanding for the game, but yet feels compelled to criticize every single aspect of team systems and the coach.
I’ve written in the past that some hockey parents just want to be heard, there’s a massive difference between wanting to be heard versus constantly confronting and berating the coach.
It’s ridiculous to think that great coaches who are volunteers wanting to give back are being treated like this nonstop across all levels of minor hockey.
The best up and coming hockey coaches are tired of the bull shit, they’re tired of dealing with entitled hockey crazed parents. The really good ones are leaving, and they aren’t going to come back. You don’t know what you have until you lose it.
Hockey parents are quick to point out “supposed” subpar coaching, but they are the first to bitch and complain that there aren’t enough “qualified” coaches in the game. I wish I could share some of the messages and conversations I’ve had over the past several years from great coaches that are on the edge of leaving, thinking about leaving or have already left the game, it would blow your mind.
All of the really ones are leaving, and who could blame them?
FDS Sports Blog 
Yeah… absolutely. 35 years of coaching and its getting worse every year. Parents used to support your decisions and back them up. There are a lot of really good hockey parents out there, but the incidents of abuse, innuendo and second guessing are rising every year.
Maybe it’s time to go back to playing old man’s hockey and enjoy some bevvies with my teammates.
Spot on, thank you
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Ontario coach says
After 42 years of coaching all levels but pro I decided I had enough
Parents are absolutely wild in their controlling attitudes towards what should be done on the ice with their kid
Unfortunately 3-4 of these families kill it for everyone as not all parents are crazy however I would say , every team has 14 parent coaches at the kitchen table on how the team should be playing
Their kid does no wrong on the ice , they are loud and disruptive in the crowd and confrontational to anyone who approaches them
Always trying to have meetings with you
THEY ARE COACH KILLERS
Hockey Canada are coach killers with all the certificates they want a coach to go through
All their maltreatment investigations are crazy wild because one crazy parent puts a complaint in and this coach is raked through the coals resulting ………in quitting
Another coach Killer “Hockey Canada “
The above need to realize ,people step up to coach to help young kids be better people and better hockey players not to put up with BS
Sad to see what is happening in the hockey world as young upcoming players are missing out on good coaches all because of crazy parents and a disorganized office
I am out
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So true bro!! So many right wing people are ruining hockey with their aggressive, non inclusive ideologies. Look at what happened when the NHL tried to ban rainbow tape. What a shitty message that was. Luckily, players like McDavid, Matthews and others stepped up and took a stand.
The old dinosaurs who still have the mentality that it’s the 1950s need to go and be replaced with people who understand that those outdated beliefs aren’t welcome. The recent cover-up of the sexual assault incident with the world junior team was absolutely disgraceful.
As a new dad of a lovely daughter, I’m sure you’ll agree that nobody who openly posts on social media about how they hate women in sports, or that gay or trans people should not be allowed to play so not belong anywhere near hockey rinks.
No room for that kind of bigotry and hate in our sport. Your daughter deserves a better environment when she goes to her games.
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Yes very true and very unfortunate! Parents and kids alike have this sense of entitlement. It’s too bad because in the real world doesn’t work that way.
Coaching is Voluntary…. That’s right – giving up their free time to teach, coach and lead by example, off and on the ice/court/field.
Also the lesson you learn from a coach is not always about the how the game was played! It’s about inclusion, team play and partnership, putting your best foot forward, passion, growing and leading by example.
Until you’ve actually been a coach/assistant coach… sit down, shut up and enjoy the game and the life lessons. You might be surprised you might learn a thing or two!
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I agree in general with everything said here about parents, they are overly invested in the day to day of the team functions. Let the coaches coach. I’m not dismissing parent behaviour as I’ve seen some wild things happen, but there also needs to be an article written on some parent coaches, they are not innocent to the issues by any stretch either. I’ve seen some parents coach only to advance their kid’s best interest and play time which is contributing to the wild responses from parents. Both are concerning. This doesn’t apply to the good parent coaches out there who are there for the right reasons, I am not sure we would have enough coaches without them.
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