You would think the lines of communication and transparency between player and coach would improve as they ascend in the game of hockey, unfortunately in some cases it gets worse, which is really unacceptable given what we all know about young athletes and their mental health. Some of the stories I have heard as of late about what is being said or told to minor hockey players by their coaches is unfathomable.
One would imagine that the coaching and the communication factor would drastically improve in the hierarchical aspect of the game, especially with today’s athlete, but it’s lacking in so many areas. With all of the education and knowledge surrounding youth and their mental health some coaches still choose to threaten, berate, belittle in effort to “send messages” to preteens and teenagers alike. Some choose silent treatment or “you should know already” perspective rather than effectively communicating with their players.
In this day and age many players have no idea where they stand or what is expected from them and they don’t dare ask or approach the coach due in large part to the flat retribution that could possibly in store for them. Recently I’ve received quite a few private messages from concerned parents on ways to approach the coach. In many cases that revolves around playing time which is the age old question that coaches hate to get asked, because it’s their show to run and it’s their show to run their way, but in many cases players and parents deserve to know why or what to work on to improve and to potentially get those opportunities moving forward. Isn’t that part of the developmental process that so many coaches these days are promoting and promising?
In many cases coaches try to send messages without communicating directly or being transparent. Kids today need to know exactly where they stand, exactly what is expected of them in order for them to buy in or believe. Some people might think that’s wrong or kids these days are too soft, but that old school approach isn’t helping anyone. One could argue the lack of communication is destroying their confidence and fracturing their passion and love of the game.
The coaching players are receiving in 2025-26 is perhaps worse than it’s been in a while which is really difficult to understand and accept. That’s hard to write and say, but in many cases it’s true and it’s really unfortunate that it’s happening everywhere. You hear the horror stories, you hear what’s being said or done and from a far we shake our heads and say that’s not right and move on with our day, but what about the kid? What about the kid that has delt with a coach like that all season long? What are they supposed to do?
It’s tough to see young players not having fun and if you have been around the game at all in the last decade or so those players are easy to spot. There’s a big difference between a coach who openly communicates, checks in, provides feedback versus those that don’t, but perhaps the coach has tried everything to reach the player and parent and their message is being ignored There’s always two sides to the story, but there are so many amazing coaches out there doing it the right way, they need to be acknowledged, appreciated and celebrated, but on the other hand what happens to the coach that is a terrible communicator?
Great coaching is all about balance, balancing emotions, balancing between development vs wins, Finding balance when it comes to personalities, team roles, support, accountability and discipline, Great coaches make it look easy, Well balanced team = Well balanced Coach = Success.
We are all well aware that how someone was coached when they played drastically effects their own perspectives and outlook of what they think or feel “great coaching” is.
Great coaches motivate, communicate and connect with their players. They have the innate ability to hold every player accountable while making them all feel valued, important and part of the process. Clearly that’s how you build a winning culture around your group.
There are some great coaches out there that really care about player develop and getting kids prepared for the next level, look past the wins/losses they’re putting in the work to make every player better and you want to know something, their players will never forget their impact and influence. There are some amazing coaches out there that are bringing a new mindset to the role, but perhaps the most exciting aspect is they are all great communicators and naturally connect with their players. Nevertheless, there’s still a vast majority of coaches out there that still believe their way is the best and they’re unwilling to adapt or change their philosophies surrounding the role of the coach and the relationship between the player and the coach.
Watching a great coach at work is amazing. Well run practices are rare, a coach that teaches the game and challenges players. Coaches that help their players develop while keeping practices fun, upbeat and challenging is equally as rare.
“Let’s blame the coach.” Listen I get it, coaches are often criticized and scrutinized endlessly, but you want to know something that’s part of job. Is it fair, in a lot of cases no, but in other cases it’s definitely warranted. In this day and age, poor communication shouldn’t be tolerated or accepted. I wish I could say things are getting better, but in a lot of cases it’s getting worse.
Oh and for the people that think, oh here’s Craig just being negative and shitting on coaches again, think again, I also wrote this one in support of all the great coaches that are tired of the other bull shit surrounding the game. https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17wxDrFtK1/
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