It’s time I take a step back and reflect.
When I first joined FDS and created the #InFocus platform, I wanted to go deeper, I wanted to discuss and bring light to subjects within the game of hockey that might not necessarily be always talked about. I didn’t mind being a small voice for potential change within the game. I’ve tried to stay true to that every time I share a story. Over the years that’s been hard to navigate sometimes for obvious reasons.
I’m so grateful for so many interactions I have had over the five years when it comes to the game of hockey, friendships and relationships that have been cultivated over that time.
I have made a concerted effort to be better every time out when it comes to each and every article. Nevertheless, there are always some stories that have a larger impact from a page views perspective, but more importantly on personal level. Anyone on social media platforms want the stats, they want to see the numbers, the page views, the impressions, the reach, the raw data, it’s all about the numbers, right? People can’t deny, all those aspects of social media and sports journalism are exciting, but let’s face it, when it comes to some stories the page views are one thing, it’s the impact the story has on people that matters most.
Over the last five years with FDS, a lot of people have reached out and have been willing to share their story in effort to help others. The courage to share their story inspired me to sit down and write.
Over the years I have been at a crossroads several times. I have questioned the direction and impact of my writing on countless occasions. What’s the purpose? What’s the end goal? Why am I doing what I’m doing?
Messages and conversations around the rink continue to add fuel to the fire, provide inspiration and perspective. One of my “go to” interview questions with players over the years have been, “What have you learned as a player and person throughout the season and journey in the game?”
Last night I asked myself that exact question.
For anyone that has followed the platform, I haven’t been writing a ton lately, obviously, I’ve published 7 articles on the upcoming QMJHL Draft here in Moncton on June 7th and 8th, which is exciting, but I haven’t written anything provocative in quite some time. One article that I’m very proud of that I’ve published lately was the one on ADHD. ADHD: Superpower or Kryptonite.
It didn’t get the “press” or attention that I would have liked. Nevertheless, one text message from a family that was going through it meant so much to me. I’m so honoured to have had the people that participated and collaborated on that story, especially the athlete that provided their own perspective and experiences with ADHD and the game we all love. I will never forget those impactful collaborations. I haven’t been writing a lot lately, but I was reminded by a Facebook memory yesterday that today is the fifth anniversary of me joining FDS.
What have I learned about myself as a writer and person over that time?
Well, that answer has several layers to it. A lot has happened over the last five years. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and it continues to be, but over the last few weeks I’ve become very reflective about my roles within the game of hockey.
On a few occasions this season, I attended press conferences, participated in those pressers and never ended up writing anything. First and foremost, being invited to attend those is an absolute honour because of how we have all worked so hard to gain credibility within field from a podcast/website and journalistic perspective. To attend major sporting events carrying accreditation from FDS is a massive privilege and honour and one that I will never take for granted.
One of the hardest things or “articles” that I had to do this year was Heather Wilbur’s induction/nomination write up for the New Brunswick Hall of Fame. For the first time in forever, I experienced writer’s block. I couldn’t express my emotions and feelings. Heather meant so much to me and countless others that I didn’t want to let anyone down and I felt that people that didn’t know Heather on a personal level might think I was exaggerating when writing about her. Yet again, I reached out to so many friends, colleagues and mentors to help with that project. I can’t really describe what those interactions meant to me.
As I reflect on my time with FDS and that question, what I have learned, I feel the learning is still ongoing and that I’ve tried to stay open and receptive, but also grounded in how I want to cover and tell stories.
I might not have written a ton lately, but there’s still some amazing stories to tell out there and I hope that I will be able to cover some of those moving forward.
Some people often feel alone. Some struggle alone and in silence. I will always be open to sharing stories that help bring a voice and attention to anyone struggling within the game in order to help others. Their courage to share their stories will hopefully help a lot of people feel accepted validated and most importantly not alone in similar experiences within the game.
You never know when conversations or discussions arise, especially when it comes to the game of hockey. I’m currently working on one major project which I’ve struggled with due in large part to the self-imposed pressure to make it the best possible story. Even after almost 11 years of writing and covering the game I still struggle with self-confidence or wanting “to do the story justice.”
I guess, I’ve learned that thought processing or self-doubt has kept me motivated and driven to try to be my best every time out.
Five years ago, I was at a crossroads with my writing and how I wanted to cover the game. Five years ago, I wanted to go deeper, I wanted to discuss and bring light to subjects within the game of hockey that might not necessarily be always talked about. Five years ago, I didn’t mind being a small voice for potential change within the game and today I strive to stay true to that every time I share a story.
I have learned a lot about myself as a writer, journalist, scout, broadcaster and person over the past five years and that learning process will continue. I’ve learned who I can trust and who I can’t. I’ve learned that some people don’t feel comfortable to comment or share stories because of hockey’s code and culture. I’ve learned that some people hate my work and probably hate me. I’ve learned that navigating the hockey world and its culture is incredibly difficult at times. I’ve learned that everyone is entitled to their own opinions about the game and so am I. I’ve learned that people love to read scouting reports. I’ve learned that there are still some stories that I can’t or don’t dare write. Right or wrong, that’s the way it is and has to be. I’ve learned that some stories are best left unsaid or unwritten especially on the personal side of the game. I’ve learned that there’s a big difference between the words “blog” and “article” and that some people still can’t determine between the two. I’ve learned that my “Observations From the Rink” themes hit close to home for a lot of people, but I’ve also learned that some people hate them! I’ve learned that relatability is critical when sharing stories about the game of hockey. I’ve learned that I don’t want to be a “lightning rod” to negativity with regards to the game of hockey.
I’ve learned that sometimes hockey parents just want to be heard, but on the other hand some hockey parents want to showcase and promotes their kids so much that they’re willing to do just about anything to do it.
I’m still learning a lot about myself, journalism and the game of hockey. As I reflect on my time with FDS, I would like to say thanks to all those that have and continue to support FDS #InFocus, it means so much to me!
To date the #InFocus platform has accumulated over 725,000 pageviews since 2019.
Thank you and I hope to see you all at the rink,
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FDS Podcast Network 