Coaches walk a very fine line. You could interchange that first word with any of the following, teacher, leader, manager and business owner and it would still have the same affect. There’s a fine line between holding people accountable and showing compassion and understanding. Some would argue that’s an impossible balancing act in this day and age.
Fine line or tight rope 100 ft up with no safety net? No doubt that’s how some coaches, leaders, teachers, managers and business owners feel in today’s climate with so much entitlement.
Why?
Well, that’s easy, they are scared or downright petrified that if they show understanding and compassion towards their players, students or employees that it will be perceived as a weakness and that they will be taking advantage of. All of the best coaches find balance when it comes to accountability and understanding because they are effective communicators, and their players know they actually care.
Ironically it all comes back to communication, but it’s all about standards or expectations. You can throw around all of the buzz words like “classroom management,” “code of conduct,” “proper deportment,” “code of ethics,” and the list goes on and on. Whenever anyone is in the “people business”, the “people” in that equation have to be aware of where they stand, the guidelines, rules or expectations.
If a teacher walks into the classroom and doesn’t outline the expectations, they’re going to be in for a rude awaken. No matter what grade or age group, hell on earth will reign down on that class. How can a teacher lay down the expectations, rules and guidelines with a group of kids or if they’re a high school teacher roughly 120 kids in four different classes and still teach and reach every kid in that class?
We all understand and can grasp at the concept of discipline, rules, guidelines and expectations. We all understand the importance of those aspects to any organization, but how can the “leader” also show compassion and accountability in the same environment?
It takes a special person to do that and that’s exactly what any job entails when people are involved. What if a 15-year-old kid raised their hand and asked to speak to the teacher in the hall while all of the other kids were working quietly? Of course, the teacher says yes and they convene in the hall to discuss the student’s concern.
Firstly, think back to when you were 15, how difficult was it to ask a teacher if you could talk to them alone? Now imagine having the courage to ask to speak to them in front of your peers. “We” or our generation has been wanting kids to show resiliency and independence now for quite some time haven’t we? So, this 15 year old kid has gone a lot farther than we could ever have imagined just asking a couple of questions in class.
“Hey, would it be possible for me to get an extension on the assignments, I struggle with ADHD, and become fixated on one assignment, and can’t focus on the others, so that’s when I get a little behind.”
Is it the time for the teacher to hold them accountable or show some compassion and give them the extension?
Obviously, our first thought would be well it depends on the kid right? In some “environments” “businesses” “classrooms,” “boardrooms” or “dressing rooms” the answer would be delivered almost instantaneously, NO.
“You need to work harder; we have set the standards for every student in that classroom, you were well aware of the deadline and expectation and why didn’t you ask me earlier if this was an issue?”
OR
“Of course, you can have an extension on those assignments, you have worked so hard on all of the assignments to date, I don’t want you to get overwhelmed by them, but keep working hard on each and every one of those assignments and I want you to know if you’re struggling to not hesitate asking me for help moving forward, keep working hard.”
Which scenario is right or wrong? Which one would you choose? Compassion or accountability?
You see we all have a different point of view on that one and we would all believe our point of view to be correct. Is the teacher going to get burned? How can the teacher show compassion and still hold the student accountable for their work?
You see that’s where the fine line appears.
Clearly, only the teacher can answer those ones, but it all comes back to communication. If the teacher is aware of an issue they can have an ongoing running discussion to check in with that student to ensure they are getting the work completed and passed in on time.
In a classroom setting, you would want the teacher to check in with all of their students in that same manner, but would the expectation be to treat each and every one of them the exact same way? Again, some people would say yes, others would say it depends, while others would agree that’s crazy and that there’s always exceptions or different circumstances to consider.
Would you take the dictatorship approach or the understanding approach on this one? We can all wrap our heads around the fact that everyone is unique, and all learn differently. We can also understand the importance of holding the student accountable for their actions.
There’s a fine line to everything, but all of the best coaches, teachers, leaders, managers and business owners balance making those decisions each and every day. It’s how they determine to make those decisions and effectively communicate with their players, students and employees that separates them amongst others in their field. It’s clear that the teacher can show compassion and hold the student accountable if they take proactive not reactive approach.
The fear of showing weakness lies in the mind of coach, teacher, manager, leader and business owner. Experience should be the guiding principle in any interaction.
Leaders understand how to balance compassion and accountability. Leaders always care about the people around them, because effective leaders know their value and potential. Leaders walk the fine line between accountability and compassion every day, a matter of fact they find balance through their experiences, through their honesty and transparency. Leaders don’t need a safety net, they aren’t scared of the interaction or what decision to make when it comes to accountability or compassion, due in large part to the effective communicator they are and have become.
You can learn a lot about a person’s character and integrity by their daily interactions with the people around them and the value they place on those relationships and discussions. Through compassion, one will no doubt seek a deeper sense of accountability and ownership.
All of the best coaches, teachers, leaders, managers and business owners genuinely care about people and that’s what makes them special.
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