When I first joined FDS and created the #InFocus platform in May of 2019, I wanted to go deeper, I wanted to discuss and bring light to subjects within the game that might not necessarily be always talked about.
I guess I wanted to be a small voice for potential change within the game, a game that has given me so much over the years and a game that I love. I still find it fascinating that complete strangers reach out commenting and thanking me for bringing attention to some issues within the game to the forefront.
Many want to share their own personal experiences, some relate to the subject area or content, while others just want to be heard, valued and listened to. In some cases, many of these hockey parents share that they are scared to talk, scared to retweet, scared to share or like an article due to the potential ramifications it could cause their child moving forward in the game.
It’s unfortunate that a lot of people are still scared to voice their legitimate concerns or discuss issues in the hockey world in fear of the potential impact or blowback it may have.
In all honesty they are actually petrified that their comments and proactive actions will drastically impact their son or daughter’s future in the game. You know what, their probably right. To me, that’s the saddest aspect of all of this. As people ascend within the hockey world they enter a vortex of secrecy which has to be protected and upheld at all cost. That fear is real.
Everyone knows everyone, what will they say? How will I be perceived if I come forward and voice a concern? How will this affect our experience moving forward? All legitimate and valid concerns.
One anonymous hockey parent had this to say a few years ago.
“I feel like if I “like” the articles you write on social media it may somehow affect my child as I am not part of a “clique” nor do I want to be. Keep on writing and bringing the issues to the surface. I am certain that many people appreciate it.”
That comment really meant a lot to me at the time and it still does, like many messages I receive privately from hockey parents.
I received this message yesterday.
Two shifts a period…
Good Morning Craig,
Thank you for writing on what you see at the rink. It is something that every parent would love to say but can’t since they are afraid how that will affect their kids. Coaches have the power and they are using it to show who has the power. It is unfortunate. If only they would talk to these kids and not leave them by themselves.
I am fortunate that my child is playing a regular shift but it tears me up to watch this going on in every teams.
They are left by themselves and other kids sometimes can be mean at the rink or at school to tell them that they are not playing.
These kids will be affected mentally by this and also affect their confidence for a long time. They are not equipped to deal with this. This is the sport that I grew up playing as a kid and I am starting to not like my sport anymore. It is unfortunate since I don’t see this changing.
Keep up your good work. You are making a difference,
Messages like that and others provide inspiration and fuel to the fire, and I hope in some small way the articles and observations are making a difference, but at times it would appear that things are getting worse instead of better. Those that care and are compassionate about the game and those involved within it can’t lose hope.
There are amazing coaches and organizations out there doing amazing things within the game.
It’s unfortunate that not every player or their family can have great experiences within the game. I think the most upsetting aspect to reading and reacting to comments from various hockey parents over the years is that they can relate, that the topics, issues, concerns and comments made hit very close to home. To me that’s the most troubling aspect of all because they can relate to it because it’s happening throughout the game in every region and at every level.
In the past, I have found myself at a crossroads several times wanting to step away and take a break from writing about or bringing attention to issues that continue to arise in the game.
Obviously, not everyone can have great experiences or great interactions with a coach or teammates throughout their journey or path in the game. We can hope everyone does, but that’s just not realistic, but let’s hope everyone going through something in the game can still feel supported and heard.
Over the years it’s been difficult to navigate all of this for obvious reasons, but I’m so grateful for so many interactions I have had when it comes to the game of hockey and the relationships that have been cultivated over that time.
I have tried to make a concerted effort to be better every time out when it comes to each and every article, observation or tweet. I want to take this opportunity to thank all those that have and continue to support FDS #InFocus, and comment on or send private messages to me, it really means a lot.
Growing up playing defence we were always taught to read and react, to use our instincts, observations and experiences to guide us. Everyone sees things differently. Everyone has different perspectives, thoughts, feelings and opinions when it comes to the game of hockey, that doesn’t make it right or wrong, just different. Everyone has had different experiences in the game, but it’s those experiences positively or negatively that have had the most impact and that’s what makes things so relatable for so many people.
Read, react, and relate, that’s what makes the game and all of our experiences within it so valuable especially when those experiences are shared or discussed and that’s hopefully where change can happen.
See you at the rink,
FDS Sports Blog 