To Coach the Player or the Person, That Is the Question?

How do you get the best out of someone? Everyone will have their own answers to that one.

You see, how do you get the best out of someone, is a lot different than, “we are going to do what’s best for them.”

To coach the player or the person, that is the question?

Everyone will have their own answers and philosophies to that one as well, but let’s face it, with everything we know about this generation of athletes, many coaches are reluctant or downright stubborn and cemented in their ways to even slightly consider adjusting their ideologies.

In mere seconds anyone can rhyme off their favourite coaches and the reasons why. In the same breath they can list the coaches they all try to forget.

With so much technology, formal training, certification and attention surrounding the game today how can coaches with subpar personal and communication skills still infiltrate and flourish at every level of the sport?

Is it all about winning?

Is it just business?

Is it all about their ego?

What does it mean to be a coach in this day and age?

What does it mean to be a good coach in this day and age?

Why not ask hockey lifer’s this question?

“In your opinion in this day and age, why are coaches still struggling with the concept of coaching the player 1st rather than the person and player?”

“Very good question Craig and 100% accurate in my opinion in terms of them coaching the player first rather than the person at least in my experience.”

“For some reason many coaches just don’t take the time to get to know the player personally, I guess they assume their play defines who they are which is definitely not accurate.”

“It also seems that coaches have a predisposition of a player and never seem to change from that much. It amazes me that for example at the junior hockey level these coaches are full time positions but rarely do they met with a player and ask them about their family, how school is going, actually they couldn’t care less how school is going as long as it does not interfere with hockey.”

“They will never ask if there is something on their mind that might be causing them not to play well,” another hockey lifer said.

“The negativity, screaming at players, thinking that this will somehow motivate a player to do better when most often it makes them crawl back into their shell,” that style just doesn’t work.”

“I am sure there are lots of great coaches out there, but unfortunately in my experience the bad ones out weigh the good,” they added.

“Personally, I think the coaching model is largely broken.”

“What is acceptable in the hockey world is not the real world. If someone treated employees like coaches treated players, they would be fired.”

“Some coaches appear to not be interested in getting to know the person because they don’t understand that if they know the person, they will get far more out of the player.”

“They don’t seem to realize you get more bees with honey.”

“Wow, that’s a good one,” said another hockey lifer.

“Off the hop, there is so much ego.” “I think people in general now want recognition constantly and I think there are coaches who want attention, it is not about the players it is about feeding their egos.”

“I don’t coach players to get my name in the paper, I do it because I love being on the ice and hopefully helping developing kids to get better,” they explained.

“You know something, I hope I’m developing them to be future coaches at some point to.”

That’s an amazing perspective. What if every coach had that mindset? What if coaches coached to develop future coaches in order to give back to the game?

“Yes, I think it’s a great way to look at it, just think about how many guys you played with who have no involvement in hockey, the number is high,” they said.

Another hockey lifer responded to the question, with a very raw thought-provoking answer.

“The age of coaches,” they said.

“Until we have a full generational turnover coaches will always coach how they were coached.”

“I would also say that the really smart ones realize that they are coaching people not hockey players.”

Incredible insight and perspective by those that know the game and have seen and experienced it all. So what about the next generation of coaches?

How can they infiltrate a sport known for its archaic culture and traditions?

“Oh that’s just business, or the business side of the game.”

Once again, the hockey world and all of its participants understand that phrase all too well.

“I think that is the mentality of this business,” said another hockey lifer.

“It’s sometimes not about the players, but a business. I don’t think all coaches are that way. I actually think they don’t realize they are doing it.”

“That’s not an easy question to answer,” said another hockey lifer.

“From what I witness and hear, from people I talk to coaches, in general, are still stuck in the “old school” mentality.”

“Partly perpetuated at the professional level and junior hockey even more so.”

“It is my belief that part of the issue is the fact that coaches just don’t know how to approach and communicate with players of today’s generation.”

“Even the younger coaches have difficulty because they grew up in a different generation and were parented much differently that kids are parented today,” they added.

“On a personal note, as much as I attempt to educate myself to understand how to effectively communicate with the kids I work with, communication remains a difficult task.”

“The values, morals, ethics etc., instilled in me by my parents are no longer present in most of the youth today. COMMUNICATION DISCONNECT,” they wrote.

A generational gap centering around communication and reaching “today’s” athletes continues to be at the forefront of these hockey lifer’s observations. Perhaps the question should be reworded, who was your favourite coach and why?

Ultimately, everyone is unique, and everyone will have differing opinions and feelings when asked about coaching. Even though people know that to be an effective coach communication, interpersonal skills and transparency are critical to reach the athlete, the hockey world in some way chooses to ignore or overlook those attributes and tends to focus on other areas or strengths the coaches might possess. There are some amazing coaches out there making connections with kids and making a difference in their lives on and off the ice. The impact those coaches are having on their players is truly remarkable. Nevertheless, there are definitely some coaches that are falling way short of the mark when it comes to making connections with their players.

The lines of communication are rigid, rudimentary, and trapped in the “old school” mentality. You see this entire project/ article isn’t accurate or valid because I didn’t approach any players, because that’s something I would never dream of doing especially in season and anytime for that matter.

The game’s dynamic and hierarchy aspect is geared in a way that players would never discuss their opinions or experiences about their coaches. The cultural aspect of the game prevents and almost protects the power those in positions of authority possess.

That gap seems to be widening at an alarming rate, even when everyone involved would concur it should be narrowing given “today’s kid or athlete.” Wouldn’t it be great if any coach being considered for a position at any level of the game aaa given this question to answer. Do you coach the player or do you coach the person?

That is the question every association and organization should be asking. What do you think? What’s your answer?